failure sucks. but, despite it sucking so much, failure has taught me a lot about myself: how resilient i am, how far i need to go and, sometimes, how i’m exactly where i need to be.
and so, welcome to a list of my professional and personal failures, rejections, and disappointments. started in june of 2020.
does not include the many failures i experience on a near-daily basis: grades that make me feel bad, my struggles with critique, the feeling of not being liked, etc etc
learn more about failure resumes here.
I was really hopeful about my application, but there are so many possible reasons why I could've been rejected (e.g., new PhD student w/o masters, not enough pubs/experience, wording not directed enough, interdisciplinary work). Interesting to try to make sense of things when none of that feedback is given. If anything, I had just started the first year of my PhD when I applied and my research interests have changed a lot since then, so I'm looking forward to getting another opportunity to sit down and think about what I care to do now that my interests have matured a little!
I tried. :)
Sometimes you won't measure up and sometimes it's just not meant to be, and both of those things are okay! So many factors go into decisions like these and it's hard not knowing why I got rejected from some of these programs... but we're worth so much more than our material accomplishments. I made blackout poetry with some of my rejection letters, if you're interested.
This application process really forced me to reflect on my values and accomplishments, which was really cool. Whether my impact on the world is small or large, it's still impact; I just want to make sure it's positive.
This was a lesson in not overthinking the factors that can lead to a rejection and/or just taking things as they are.
It happens. :)
I was super excited about running this conference with one of my good friends about a year ago, but things went downhill after COVID-19 forced a change of plans. I learned that it's okay to just let go sometimes, and that there are costs to taking on too much -- not only for myself, but for others (like our team, and the people who may have been looking forward to the event).
You only need 1 yes!!! This experience was like a practice round for grad school apps later this year, which will be helpful in many ways :)
The worst course grade I have ever received. What I learned (or was reminded of): 1) Always make sure to thoroughly study concepts you feel shaky on. 2) A basic understanding needs to be supplemented with practice, at least for math classes. 3) Don't take 2 math classes at the same time, especially during a pandemic. 4) You can enjoy (academic) things you're not necessarily good at.
I could technically still finish this, but I'm so behind that I've forgotten everything I've learned so far. I think I had a hard time because I hadn't yet taken matrix algebra, and honestly, I've never really seen myself as someone who'd be good at ML. I ended up taking an applied machine learning course in school. I enjoyed it a lot more AND it was more applicable to the work I do, so I think sometimes you just need to figure out what works for you!
I do diversity in tech work out of a genuine passion for it, but some people have more passion than I do! Rather than forcing myself to "catch up", I will continue to work toward implementing initiatives that I want to see in the space.